a scary moment.

im sick right now :( im trying to sleep through a fever of 38.9 (102) but its not working, i cant quite get comfortable. ill spare you the gross details but i have been on my couch, on the bathroom floor and in my bed, and yet this damn thing is keeping me awake. And its moments like this (when im sick) that i start to remember how much life can change, and how ready and adaptive we have to be. i got some encouraging words the other day from a distant friend reminding me that part of getting through life is embracing it and loving it. tonight is reminding me of one moment that forced me to remember this.

just under two years ago, after i first moved out i got quite sick, much like i feel tonight (this morning). and it was in that moment that i realized what life is like when you are alone. sitting on the bathroom floor my head in my hands and shaking from the cold sweat of my fever, i was forced to realize that i am the only one who will take care of me. it was a very humbling and frightening experience, not because i was sick, but because i was forced to face it alone.

i guess its almost poetic that i have a night that reminds me of that, just when i am really starting to get anxious about life.